A low whispering sound echoed in the back
of his ears, close to the buzz of silence, but Thesce wasn’t paying attention.
He was mesmerized with the scene that seemed to be unfolding too fast in front
of him. It was dark around the corners of his sight and he felt heavy, as if
his limbs had been filled with pounds of sand, but he was happy. Or, at least
that’s what the tightness in the back of his throat was trying to tell him. Happy. And how could he not be? It was
Addie in front of him, her pale hair like a waterfall of moonlight behind her
head and her violet eyes were as dark as the night. He felt the sudden need to
reach out and touch her, to feel the skin of her cheek under his fingertips.
But he couldn’t.
Addie turned a little, now facing him in
the long white gown she wore. It was almost see-through in the silvery light
and everything about her was pale and porcelain. An aching throb of passion
twisted in his chest at the sight of her, and he was aware that his heart had
sped up along with the whispering sound in his ears. Thesce was frozen, seeming
to be watching from behind some sort of glass as Addie rose her hand to curl
around her swollen belly. Realization
crept up slowly, like ice cold water seeping in through his socks, and there
was an unbearable moment of awe that split through his bones. That was his
child.
He wanted to run to her now, to embrace
her and to feel the swell of her stomach under the palm of his hand. No, not a
want, a feverish need. He needed to touch her, looking at her
wasn’t enough. Thesce tried to move, but again his limbs were too heavy and he
was hopelessly stuck in place. He tried to call out to her, desperation was
rising quickly and Thesce couldn’t beat away the threatened feeling that seemed
cold in the middle of his heart. There was something wrong.
What had once been pride and overwhelming
love for the woman and her unborn child in front of him only a few moment ago
violently changed to blood curdling fear. “Addie!” Thesce screamed and his
voice sounded foreign to his own ears. What had changed? Why did he feel as
though if he didn’t do something, anything god dammit, she would die? They
would die. Addie kept staring at him, unaware of his screaming, but the hand on
her belly clenched a little. The desperation Thesce felt exploded in the back
of his mind and all strains of sanity he knew went with it.
A stain that looked black at first
started to bloom above her left breast, but with quickening horror Thesce
realized it was blood. He was screaming for her again, but Addie simply looked
down at the blood with widening eyes. The whispering in Thesce’s ears grew
louder and he could start to make out the words even above his frantic
shrieking.
It
was his own voice, and as he made out the words, Addie brought her eyes up to
meet his. The violet irises that stared at him were not in pain or fear like he
would have expected. Instead, they held contempt and a hatred that felt like a
burning dagger twisted into his heart. He was still screaming for her as the
whispering finally made itself clear.
I
am not your friend. I’m not your lover. I’m not your family.
The voice whispered, dripping with the same contempt Addie was looking at him
with. Another horror shoved its way forward, disguising its self as
realization. Thesce couldn’t touch her because he had been the one that had
shoved her away.
The edges of his sight were darkening
again, and the whispering had turned into screaming. His voice was raw with his
desperate shrieking for Addie, for his unborn child. But she wasn’t paying
attention, her eyes were closed now, and her pale hair began to float as if she
were falling. Her white gown was now crimson and dripping, with the skin above
her bosom peeled back as if it had been torn off. Thesce was still screaming
for her as they fell together into blackness.
The night was cool, but Thesce awoke
drenched in his own sweat. His breathing was coming out in rasps, but even
before he realized he was awake he was clawing at the other side of the bed,
looking for her. She wasn’t there and another wave of irrational fear gnashed
at the edges of his thoughts. Where was she? It was then that he realized the
bathroom door was open, flooding half the room with the stark white light.
It took a moment for Thesce’s eyes to
adjust, but he could make out Addie’s thin frame standing silhouetted in the
light. She was naked and facing him with her arms dangling by her sides. She
was completely still and quiet, and though her hair was dripping Thesce
couldn’t hear the shower running.
“Addie?” Thesce asked gently though he
was alarmed by her stance. As if in response to her name a quiet sob broke out
from her thin chest, shaking her frame. Addie clasped her hands over her face,
trying to keep her broken sobs at bay. It only took a moment for Thesce to
cross the well-kept bedroom and curl his arms around her. She pushed him away
at first, but he wouldn’t have let go even if the world had decided to split
open where he stood. Thesce pressed her head against his chest, taking in the
smell of her wet hair and trying to shove away the image of her bosom darkening
with blood. “What’s wrong?” He asked after a long moment and to his own ears it
sounded like a child’s voice.
“I killed them, you know.” She answered,
her voice hitching with sobs. Thesce knew who she was talking about, and
decided not to argue. It was a wound that would keep an open sore until she
decided she wanted to stitch it up herself.
“We’ve all killed someone.” He replied
dryly and the image that came to his head was that of his dream. And he could
hear in the back of his mind, I’m not
your friend. I’m not your lover. I’m
not your family.
(c) Shelby Williams 2014
